It’s a new year, full of new beginnings, which reminds me of a new thing that’s going on in my life. And its kind of a big deal. For me, anyway.
I got a new calling.
Lets see, I better start at the beginning. It all started when I stuck my foot in my mouth and offered to help out by playing the piano in primary one day. Apparently it was a well-kept secret that I possess this skill, but my primary president had other plans for this information. The next week, I got a call to meet with a member of the Bishopric.

Oh, you think you’ve got this all figured out now, right?
Wrong.
So, I’m chatting it up with Brother Jones and he gets down to business and tells me that they want me to be the new Primary Chorister. “Come again??” I ask. “I think you meant to say PIANIST”. Ahem. Nope, Chorister. At this point, I’ve slipped into a jr. high nightmare where you arrive at school with no clothes on. No, he couldn’t have possibly just said Chorister. So I ask him…. “Did someone put you up to this?” Because honestly, I had just told Michelle that Primary Chorister would be my WORST NIGHTMARE come true. Now, before you go judging me, there are several reasons for this, the most important being the fact that I am truly and honestly tone-deaf. Yes, I can read music and yes, I understand rhythm, melody, etc, but I can’t carry a tune in a handbasket. Its so, so sad and yet, so true. So I go ahead and explain to Scott that I am willing to serve in any capacity where I can be useful, but calling me to teach music is like calling me to teach German. You see, I don’t speak German. Nor, do I speak MUSIC. He just gave this a good laugh and told me that I had a great personality for the job. “Yes, yes”, I agreed, “Personality, sure. But you forgot that little part about the SINGING!”.
Anyway- long story shorter-ish, I spent about 20 minutes trying to persuade him to see my point of view and he wasn’t having it. In the end, he just wanted to know point blank if I was willing to accept this call from the Lord? Well, what was I supposed to say to that? Before you go judging me, just know that I really, really was about to say So Sorry, but NO, and I remembered a conversation I had had 2 days earlier with my son Noodle. You see, he was being particularly lazy and un-helpful around the house so I asked him why he wasn’t doing what I asked. He said, “I can’t Mom, its too hard”. So, I gave him an excellent Mom-lecture about how Wallaces don’t say “I can’t”. They say, “I’ll try”. Even if it seems too hard. Sigggggggghhhhhhhhh……
“OH ALL RIGHT!” I shouted at Bro. Jones. “I’ll try, dang it.”.
Which is how I became the Fox Hollow Ward Primary Chorister. It’s been a little over a month now and I still sweat like a whore in Church every time, my hands shake terribly, and I can’t get the arm-waving thing right to save my life, but there have been some good moments, too. My Christmas lesson went beautifully, and several people told me how much they loved it. I get compliments every week which really means the world to me because sometimes I walk out of there thinking, “What on Earth did I just do?!?”
My first Sunday I dressed up in a disguise and played a game with the kids I made up myself called “Guess Who the New Primary Chorister Is”. I had clues written on music notes and there were songs to go with the notes. Every time they sang a song I took off a piece of my disguise until they could guess who I was. It was really fun, and the kids loved it. I wish I would have taken a picture because I looked so ridiculous.
So that’s my new gig. It is incredibly time consuming because it scares me so much that I spend much more time than I should practicing leading music, listening to and memorizing songs, and of course there’s the making of all the props. Seth just DIES when he sees me cutting, gluing, and a-scrapbooking-away at another primary project. He thinks that I over-do it a little (what?????), but it honestly takes some of the fear out of it if I know I have some elaborate props and a what-not to carry me through.
One last thing. If you happen to pop by the Primary room of my Church and I’m in there warbling away, kindly refrain from commenting on my stunning vocal ability. Trust me, I’m well aware of my glaring lack of Talent. It still mortifies me every week. But if its what the Lord wants…….In the words of Nephi, “I will go, I will Dooooooooo!” Oh, you see, now I’m singing the words! That’s when you know you’re really a chorister…. 